Dot in the Universe

I apologise
for the universe is
against me.

I’m the only hope
that’s unattainable.
I’m the scarlet umbrella
unused in that drought.
I’m the awkward silence
bound to ebb the conversation.
I’m the terrible ending
to that adored book.
I’m all the things
you do not want.
I’m all the things
you don’t need.
I’m all the things
that you aren’t.

I apologise,
for the universe
is against me.
I have tried endlessly
to be the sound of waves
that calms you so
and failed notoriously.
I have broken down
the wall only to
build it back again.

I apologise
for the universe
is against me for
I have found love.
I have caught the
butterflies in my stomach
and let them free.
I had never felt a feeling
so sincere in
this wretched world.
It’s the flicker of light
in the deepest sorrows.
It is the aegis to
my brittle heart.

I apologise
for the universe
is against me for
you have found me
and I have found
all the rights
to my wrongs.

I apologise
for the universe
is against me for
the asteroids are
tearing me apart.
There is a pang of truth
in every word spoken
that throbs my aching heart.

There’s a black hole in my heart
that’s seeping from the seams.
It yearns to devour me whole
and succumb to nix.
It sings to me a pacifying lullaby,
beckoning me into infinite slumber.
After all I’m
a mere dot in the universe
as vast as your kind heart.
I’m not as brave as
everyone assumes I am.
I’m not the girl who
has everything figured out.
I am the dandelion
wilting away,
or at least I was
until you came along
and carried me away.
I am ready,
like never before
to show the universe
that I’m not made of
sweet dreams and rain drops
nor am I made of
hurricanes and tsunamis.
I am made of everything that
everybody has given me,
or maybe otherwise. 

I apologise
for the universe
is against me
but it’s about time
the queen conquers
and rules her kingdom
back from the ashes.